​Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four-way stop.

Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them, but never actually see them.
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Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
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Q: Did you hear about the Blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could also listen to it in the afternoon.
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Q: What do you call a Blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
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Q: How do a Blonde's brain cells die?
A: Alone. Terribly alone.
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Q: What do you call a Blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
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Q: What do you call it when a Blonde dies her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
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Q: Why do Blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because silly, that's where you're SUPPOSED to wash vegetables!
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Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
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Q: Why do Blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
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Q: Why is it good to have a Blonde passenger?
A: So you can park in the handicap zone.
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Q: What was the Blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
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Q: How do you make a Blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Q: Why should Blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
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Q: How can you tell if a Blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
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Q: How can you tell if another Blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
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Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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Q: What did the Blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
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Q: Why do Blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) Like, I dunno!
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Q: How do you kill a Blonde?
A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
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Q: How do Blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
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Q: Why don't Blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
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Q: Why don't Blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head into the jar.
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Q: Why don't Blondes eat bananas?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They can't find the pull tab.
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Q: How did the Blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the Zamboni machine.
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Q: Why do Blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.
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Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
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Q: What do you call a brunette with a Blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
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Q: What do you call a Blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
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Q: What does a Blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
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Q: What is it called when a Blonde blows in another Blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
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Q: What did the Blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag)?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"
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Q: What do you call 15 Blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
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Q: What do you do when a Blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Q: What do you do when a Blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Heck....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
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Q: If a Blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The Blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
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Q: What happens when a Blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
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Q: Why do Blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forget to take the tissues out of the box.
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Q: How many Blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
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Q: What do you get when you offer a Blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
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Q: Why does a Blonde change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
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Q: How did the Blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
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Q: How does a Blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
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Q: Why did the Blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said 'From 2-4 years'.
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Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
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Q: What's a Blonde's favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
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Q: Why do Blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
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Q: How do you make a Blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
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Q: What do you call a Blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
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Q: How did the Blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
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Q: Why do Blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
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Q: What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A Blonde electrician.
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Q: Why are dumb Blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because Blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.
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Q: What did the Blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
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Q: What job function does a Blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
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Q: Do you know why the Blonde proofreader got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
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Q: Why did the Blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
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Q: What do you call a Blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
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Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
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Q: What does a Blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
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Q: Why did the Blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
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Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A Blonde going through a flashing red light.
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Q: Did you hear about the Blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see 'Closed for the Winter'.
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Q: What did they name the offspring of a Blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.
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Q: Did you hear about the Blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
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Q: What did the Blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How does a Blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Blonde.
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Q: How do you get a one-armed Blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
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Q: What does a Blonde think innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.
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Q: How do you confuse a Blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
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Q: How did the Blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
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Q: How did the Blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
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Q: How can you tell when a FAX has been sent by a Blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
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Q: How can you tell if a Blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
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Q: Why do Blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
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Q: Why do all Blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
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Q: Why don't Blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
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Q: Why don't Blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
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Q: Why don't Blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: They can't find the number 11 on the telephone.
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Q: What does a Blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
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Q: What does a Blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
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Q: Why did the Blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
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Q: Why did the Blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
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Q: Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
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Q: Why did the Blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
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Q: What are the worst six years in a Blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
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Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Blondes.
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Q: Why is the Blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

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